India,  Madhya Pradesh

Unlocking the Charms of Orchha Fort

Come with me to discover the allure of the historic Orchha fort and learn why starting your sightseeing early morning is incredibly important on a journey in April.

Ninja Touristing during Holi

After having hardly slept the day before, my highlight of the day was 10 hours of sleep 🙂 I anyways wanted to avoid the major Holi festivities to prevent myself from getting too dirty. The main reason was my beloved yellow backpack though, I didn’t want it to get colour stains. Every other firang in this town was apparently going all mad and fully coloured – I’ve seen lots on the way. But after 6 years in India, I really couldn’t care less. Been there, done that, next year again maybe.

I spent the morning in the Hotel restaurant with cooks and waiters who were apparently high on Bhang and took some time to get my order right (told you, it’s not the Hilton 😀 ). At least it gave me enough time to write.

Around 12 pm, I couldn’t think of any excuse anymore not to go out so I ventured out to see Orchha Fort. It was really the right time, most people had stopped playing Holi and I wasn’t even assaulted by kids with water guns and colours. That’s what usually happens at home, kids lurking on their balconies, waiting for people to pass by to throw water balloons at them. Not here though, so my backpack was safe.

The ticket to the Fort Complex was 250 INR for foreigners and I got a guide for another 470 INR. The prices are actually fixed and written on a board, so no one can cheat. My guide was fully high on bhang and he slurred his words a bit and was a bit lazy. Was fun though 😀

We started with Raja Mahal, the king’s palace. There are a lot of paintings inside the chambers, most of which show scenes of Gods, Lord Vishnu fighting demons, Lord Rama and Lord Krishna, scenes from the Ramayana, and lots of flowers among other things.

There are two floors and I of course had to go all the way up. I should mention that I’m scared of heights but still do that, only to shit my pants once I’m up there… It was worth it though, the view is amazing!

Yesterday’s temple Chaturbhuj.

Women like to talk

The guide then showed me the Hamam, the bathrooms, and toilets. It was basically one room with few separations with each 2-3 holes in the ground beside each other. So basically, 2 people sit beside each other doing their business. Not knowing that I’d seen the modern version of this on some bus stops and another public version in Rome, he explained to me that in some villages it’s still similar and that women always go together, sometimes in the fields or forests. “So they do it and also talk. I don’t know about your country, but Indian women just never stop talking! My wife, she just never stops! When I come home and have dinner, I ask her ‘Please, just let me eat!'” After which he got a laugh flash 😀

The next stop was Jahangir Mahal. We crossed it to go to the main gate, which was quite stunning. Beautiful carvings with a mix of Hindu and Islamic elements, which is anyways the theme of this palace.

The disadvantage of starting so late was of course that it was incredibly sunny and hot. Once we had reached this main gate, it became so bad that I could neither see my screen nor the pictures I was taking, and I was concerned about getting a heat stroke. The tour was anyways over (I think he’s shortened it since he was too high) and I thought I’d better come back later. The restaurant Sheesh Mahal was unfortunately closed for lunch because of Holi, so I changed my plan entirely.

After a short break at the hotel, I went for lunch/dinner at Amar Mahal to get the second dish I wanted to try: Safed Gosht, means mutton in a white sauce. Jeez… so tender again, it was amazing. Better than the one yesterday even. It made it to place 4 of my favourite mutton dishes right after Rogan Josh (Laal Maas still leading and forever will be!).

I quickly went to Lakshmi Narayan Mandir so that I had enough time to get to the sunset point. Was thinking of skipping it but luckily I didn’t! After all, the guide at the Fort said that it was one of the main temples here. Was rather small but really nice, with lots of paintings of the Gods again similar to Raja Mahal. The guard showed me around and took some pics on the roof.

An enchanting sunset

I then rushed to the sunset point, crossing the river where people were bathing, washing the Holi colours off them. I didn’t expect a closed area for the sunset point but yeah. It’s just opposite the Chhatris on the other side of the river. They charged 50 INR for the entry and also offered 10 min of boating for another 50 bucks. I was hoping to get a better view of the Chhatris since there was either a tree or cables in the way for a nice shot. Seriously: it’s one of your main attractions, why would you put bloody cables right in front of it??

Anyways… The boating was short but nice. I had to stop the guy from putting loud Bollywood on though. The majority of people here are unfortunately somewhat ignorant of the sounds of birds and water…

I kept sitting on the water at some rocks till a bit after sunset until it was time to leave for the Sound and Light Show at the Fort. After witnessing how many noisy people were there earlier, I have to correct my previous statement that not many tourists are here this season. I just happened to have missed them by half an hour.

The Sound and Light Show was great, very informative, and well done. They told the history of the kings who built the palaces and temples in Orchha, how Lord Rama came to Orchha etc. The English version starts at 7:30 pm and costs 300 INR.

My day ended by having some hot milk in front of a small shop, watching the people around me. I don’t know if it’s me or the place but I’m not the slightest bit annoyed with people this time. It usually gets a bit on my nerves to say hello to 50 people every day, answering the same questions (where are you from, what’s your name, selfie please?) over and over again. But no, nothing, still smiling 🙂
If I’ll still be as patient tomorrow?

The Summary

Distances covered

Foot: 12.6 km

Accommodation

Hotel: Monarch Rama Palace

Price per night: 950 INR

Rating: 3/5 (Minus: No cupboard, fan speed not adjustable)

Food

Breakfast: Hotel

Price: 150 INR

Rating: 3/5 (nothing special but good)

Lunch/Dinner: Amar Mahal

Price: 900 INR

Rating: 5/5 (fully mindblown! Again!)

Hot milk from street vendor: 20 INR (and it was great!)

Entries/Fees

Fort: 250 INR

Guide: 470 INR

Sunset point: 50 INR

Boating: 50 INR

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